Jule and I got into a bit of a tiff last night and after talking it out, we agreed the problem was that we both complain too much. We complain regularly about everyone and everything and when one of us is in a mood and bitching, then it brings the other one down and we both end up miserable. So we realized we were contributing to keeping each other in a negative mood.
We made an agreement that we would try to complain no longer. If someone or something irritated us, we'd just keep it to ourselves and soldier on, or if we had to seek relief in talking about it, we'd not complain in the normal sense, but instead diagnose the situation.
Well, that was last night and lying in bed afterwards I had an, "Ah-ha!". I realized that the act of complaining requires one to take a step backwards. Think about it. You have to actually change course, change direction, get off the path, to complain about something! You have to take time out from what you're doing to relive a little piece of the past. It's actually a waste-of-time consuming activity
I think it's unnatural to complain. The natural thing to do is just to go on with life and not let a 'snag' hold you up or distract you from what you're doing. You see it all the time with dogs. You're walking along with your trusty friend and meet another dog and walker and that dog totally ignores your dog. But your dog isn't phased by this snub (unlike you, had the dog walker done that to you!). She just carries on. No complaints. No hard feelings. Getting on with it, on to the next thing in her furry little life. But we learn to complain and the more we do it the worse it gets until it becomes chronic. We lose the path.
That was yesterday. This morning I was on my way to the Tim Horton's, walking through the Rideau Centre, and I suddenly noticed I was feeling good. Not just "not depressed". Not just OK. But genuinely good. Positive. Not euphoric, maybe, and it was definitely an internal thing. I realized it was because I was on the "path". By not complaining I had taken the focus off myself. I was out "there" and not thinking about me. It felt good.
All day I stayed the course. I had the chance to complain about things, but I managed not to. It was a good day.
4 comments:
Good analysis. This may also fall under the "fake it until you make it" department. Even if you feel like complaining, you don't, wait until the feeling goes away, and then presto! No complaining!
Right. Keep the blinkers on and ignore it. It's like Ron Popeil's, "Set it and forget it", line for his roaster oven. Once you're out of the habit of complaining, you take the attention off yourself and see there's a whole new world out there. Rather exciting, really! :)
Um, now who am I going to complain to?
It's great that you have the strength to pull yourself out of the primordial slime, but some of us like it here! For the sake of your improved outlook, I'll be good and promise not to get any of the muck on you as I wallow! ;)
PS. Congrats on the fresh new philosophy, you do seem happier than usual.
Oh, I'm still qualified to listen to complaints, I just can't participate! I just hope it lasts. So far though, so good.
I'm not sure if my new-found interest in photography is a byproduct of this new attitude or thinking of buying a new camera is just taking my mind off my day to day concerns and allowing me to go about my business without "bumping" into so many people? Maybe a bit of both.
Thanks for the shot in the arm, Michael.
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